I am so sick of thinking that I am entitled to be loved... that I am entitled to have a real relationship... that I am entitled to have my feelings heard and understood. :(
Love is just some sick fantasy that parents tell their kids when they are reading those fairy tale books to them. It isnt real in my world. Yeah, I love my kids very much, and I love my parents too... and I thought I loved my ex, but his idea of love is completely different than mine. He thinks that love is that squishy feeling you get when you have sex I guess... feelings have no part of love for him.. or at least mine dont.
I made the mistake of giving him one last chance before I moved on for good. We have been working on things for about a month.. and in that time I have found out that in the past year he has added at least 10 more girls' numbers to his phone... and he has talked to one of them that he has been friends with for about 6 years about dating.. the reason he gave for not asking her out... she has a boyfriend. Now why in the heck would he tell me something like that and think I would be ok with it. That just gave me something else to wonder about.. is he just using me to fill a void until she breaks up with her boyfriend? I am so confused.. hurt.. angry.. upset. I dont know what I want anymore.. and I dont even know who I am anymore. I just know I did the right thing in not letting him back into my bed this time.
I'm so sorry sweetie. You need to dump his sorry butt and move on. and i know it is hard. but once you start dating you'll found out that there is better guys out there for you.
good luck and we are here for you.
ps us girls can take a road trip and beat the crap out of him if you want us to.
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants either. He keeps coming back to you because he is comfortable with you. But it seems more like he is using you as his safety blanket...something he can go back to when things aren't going his way. My opinon: Cut the ties. You don't deserve to be played around with like that. You deserve someone that is committed to you and respects you. And I don't think he is doing that at all.
Don't give up on love. There is someone out there that will love you for you, will give you the respect and committment you deserve. (((hugs))))
Oh, and I'll hop in Tami's car and join in on giving him our little message!
I'm so sorry that you're hurting. My heart goes out to you.
You'll always love him but are you truly in love with him? There's a huge difference and sometimes we have such a difficult time differentiating between the two. You'll probably always love him because of the history that you had and the children that you both created that's not unusual, but being in love with someone is so different. There will always be a special place in your heart for him, but I think sometimes we fall into a comfort zone. Don't tolerate his comfort zone because all he will do is use you until he's through with you and move on to another and totally break your heart again with alot of empty promises. If he's telling your things like that now then he's already told you what his intentions are going to be. You need to listen to your heart now. You deserve so much more and like Tami said when you start dating you're going to see a huge difference. There's love out there and you're going to find your soul mate. Remember that love doesn't hurt and people that are in love don't hurt one another.
Chelsea
