I received a call yesterday that one of my uncles (b-aunt's hubby) passed away from cancer after battling it for 4 years.
I struggled last night as to whether I should call my b-aunt. The reason is she's kind of bitter towards me because I have a good relationship with my b-mom (her sister) and she does not have that good of a relationship with her b-son. (yep that's right. both sisters placed a child for adoption).
After thinking and mulling it over I finally made the call. It was hard because I wasn't sure what to say. I hadn't known my uncle for a long period of time of time but from the times I had seen him he was a kind and gentle man. He used to bring our family fresh and canned salmon that he caught on the upper coast of Oregon. When we had the reunion where I met a majority of family up at their property in Oregon, he treated me like his own. He was a sweet guy.
The call was short but sweet. I think she appreciated it but I was just glad to get it over. My b-mom was heading up her way to be there with her.
In a way I feel like I should be there to pay my respects, but somehow I just don't feel right going.
I am sorry to hear of his passing Stacey. Wrong to feel confused? Nope not at all. Remember when Diane was having colon surgery because she had colon cancer and I was thrust into seeing her in the hospital the day of surgery? Remember how twisted up inside I was when I was trying to sort out if I should go see her then or not considering she may not make it? You told me back then to do what my gut told me. I realize that your situation is a tad bit different and you might very well feel out of place going, but you have to figure out what you can live with.
Feeling out of place or that it is not your place to go or living with never have gone to begin with. Personally, I can deal with go, get it done and overwith a lot better then the "what if" scenarios of not going. Postive note, they will see you are at the very least being courteous. Negative note, they ask what are you doing there and feel you are infringing on a private time. If they responded well to you when you met them, I would see the first scenario playing out well.
While you mentioned he was a "sweet guy"... That could also be motive to go, especially having been treated as one of his own. Pay your respects if anything at all. Your heart may not be in this, but remember we do things we do not want to do, because it is what is right for us or the people around us at the time. If we did everything we wanted to do, I would have never of met Diane. I hope this helps ya dear. Big hugs! Holler at me if you want to talk more about it.
You know what Lyn. You're absolutely right. I should take my own advice - LOL. I just realized that it's an easy thing to say but not do. My gut tells me to "stay home".
My aunt already thinks that her son is a "gold digger" looking for money. I think I'll just send a card and maybe a small arrangement. Lord knows what she'd start to think if I went up there.
Nope, I've thought long and hard and I need to be home with my hubby and son.
I've decided to go with Anthony to my parents house this weekend to celebrate Anthony leaving (tee-hee) and mom and dad's birthdays (which we'll miss). As for Jeff..... He'll be on the golf course in a tournament (THE BUM!!!).lol
Actually I'm okay with it. It's a good thing I didn't go because I wanted to see my dad after his "accident".
It's difficult to sometimes draw that fine line between family and "family". I hate to say this but sometimes my bfamily doesn't really feel like family but acquaintances even though there's blood between us. I know the old saying that blood is thicker than water but is it really? How can you miss or be close to something that you never had and all of a sudden get.
